When did I become this me?!

So tonight I was invited to play in a co-ed soccer match with a group of friends. Initially I was pumped! Soccer, the thing I absolutely LIVED for ten years ago. Sweet! But as tonight approached all I felt was nerves. I mean this sport is why my life completely flipped switches and almost ended abruptly. As lame as it seems, I think a part of me died on that field ten years ago with my head injury. I lost my aggressive nature, my drive to compete. Getting in front of the ball and driving toward the defenders or attacking a forward was my thing. How drastically things have changed. Tonight I was apprehensive to attack and definitely was keeping a nice ten feet distance between the ball and my dome.

These days I like running endlessly (not after a soccer ball) at a turtle's pace just daydreaming. I have become the flit in the oufield picking daisies, the goalie doing cartwheels. Sometimes I feel like this "me" does not relate to the "me's" of the past. But I think I dig her, too. Maybe this is mid-twenties mellow "me." Or maybe I am just getting lazy and wimpy? Nah!! Because when I have a helmet on, I'll ride right through trees. Ok, phew! Part of the old "me" still exists.